July 2005

July 25, 2005
I really like the news reports that characterize the Brazillian Running Man as "innocent." Innocent. Yes, well, innocent except for jumping the turnstile at the tube entrance. And fleeing police. And refusing to stop when told by said police to halt. Oh, and also for being in the fucking country illegally.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not advocating doling out point blank gunnings for folks who try to get a free ride on the T.

Well. That's not precisely true.

I do advocate that. Moreover, I'm an advocate of mounting little turrets in each subway car that shoot projectiles that burrow into your skull and implode with tremendous trauma-inducing violence like an inverted fucking landmine if you dare look askance at your fellow passengers. I'm all about flattening the melons of any asstwit who refuses to give up a subway seat to an elderly lady, let alone fleeing the friggin Bobbies through the public transit system immediately after Britain suffers its first terrorist attacks in its underground public trains. Folks, here's a braintrust who was most certainly stealing his way on the carriage in a race to get to the lab to complete his groundbreaking research on a cure for cancer. Either that or he was a fucking freeloader living off the taxes of British citizens. You know, one or the other. You pick. Here's a friendly word(s) of advice for anyone visiting jolly ol' Englund and who doesn' wan' ta take 7 to the medulla oblongata: Guv'nor says stop? STOP.

Otherwise, thin the fucking herd, Derrick, motherfucking posthaste.

And now, from the didn't-see-this-coming-file-oi, the "family" of this illegal alien is making noises about suing the British government. "We'll see what the police are going to do for us," says a cousin of the newly head-vented man. Don't let the river of tears obscure your view of the pound notes, Pedro.

July 13, 2005
Guess I'll put my "Kiss Me! I'm a Radical Islamic Extremist!" t-shirt into cold storage.

July 5, 2005
Fireworks are gay.