July 2003

July 26, 2003
The article below appeared on the Washington Post web site. It was a fine read, but I felt the need to make some additions (in blue type):

DUBAI (Reuters) - Televised images of the bodies of Saddam Hussein's sons shocked many Arabs on Friday, who said it was un-Islamic to exhibit corpses, however much the brothers were loathed. The Arabs made no mention whether or not it was un-Islamic to treat the rape of women as a hobby, as Uday Hussein reportedly did.

Arab and international networks showed the bodies identified as Uday and Qusay, laid out at the makeshift airport morgue, their faces partly rebuilt to repair wounds.

"Although Uday and Qusay are criminals, displaying their corpses like this is disgusting and repulsive. America claims it is civilized but is behaving like a thug," Saudi civil servant Saad Brikan, 42, told Reuters in Riyadh, as he savagely beat his daughter for expressing an interest in education.

Another civil servant Hasan Hammoud, 35, said: "America always spoils its own image by doing something like this. What is the advantage of showing these bodies? Didn't they think about the humanitarian aspect? About their mother and the rest of their family when they see these images? How can the rest of the Husseins be expected to fully enjoy their next Iraqi Olympic Athlete Torturing Dinner Party? This is too much to bear!"

The brothers died on Tuesday after U.S. forces lay siege to the villa in northern Iraq where they were hiding.

Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld said he ordered their bodies to be shown to convince frightened Iraqi's that Saddam's reign was truly over. Rumsfeld was overheard telling an aide in exasperated tones, "Once we finally convince the Iraqi people that the big scary man is gone, we'll have to get to work dispelling their widely held belief that the sun is actually a chariot that is driven across the sky every day."

But prominent Saudi cleric Mohsen al-Awajy said: "This has been a dirty war from the beginning and it is difficult for us to find any morals or dignity in the middle of this. Of course, we define morals and dignity as hiding our soldiers behind women and children during battle. So, your mileage may vary.

"The Americans want to show the Iraqis that they are achieving their goals...There was no need to show the bodies. Besides, the Iraqi people don't believe those are actually the bodies of Saddam's sons. Saddam Hussein himself could pop out of his little concrete bunker in Tikrit and holler, "Hey, Iraqi people! Those really are my dead, athlete-torturing, women-raping sons! They're fucking dead! Like... how you say... doornail!" and the Iraqi people still wouldn't believe it. Because they're thick as fucking posts."

He said while under Islam the bodies should be treated with sanctity, Iraqis would not forget that Uday and Qusay had committed vicious crimes against them.

"We shouldn't forget the pain of the Iraqis. These are just two casualties, and it would be better if their graves were kept secret, otherwise the Iraqis will attack their graves. Since Islam expressly forbids displaying photos of the dead, but digging them up and playing a couple heated rounds of Duck Duck Goose is alright with Allah."

Mohammad Emara, an Egyptian Islamist scholar, told Al Jazeera television that displaying the bodies publicly was against Islamic Sharia law.

"Under Islamic law this is rejected. Beating women? Fine. America wanted to boost the morale of its soldiers so it resorted to this illegal act which is denounced by all religions. Well, except for Satanism. I think those fucking freaks would probably dig this sort of thing. And the Catholics, well, they don't seem to have much of a problem with illegal acts... but... I'm sure some other religion will denounce this... maybe.

"America said during its war on Iraq that displaying pictures of its soldiers who were alive was against the Geneva convention so what about pictures showing disfigured bodies? Now, excuse me. I have to go home and beat my wife and children mercilessly."

He was referring to U.S. soldiers held captive during the war. Then he was referring to going home and beating his wife and children mercilessly.

SOME KUWAITIS VOICE APPROVAL

A U.S. military official said "facial reconstruction" had been carried out, particularly to the elder son Uday whose face had been more disfigured by his wounds. The retouching was intended to make them more readily identifiable.

In Kuwait, Saddam's arch-enemy over Iraq's 1990-91 occupation of the tiny Gulf state, some people found the video did help convince them the two brothers were dead.

"I'm not sure about Uday but Qusay's pictures were very clear. And since their eyes were closed, you didn't get that nasty red eye deal from the flash. I hate that. I'm happy they are dead and that will make it easier for the Americans to restore stability to the country," said Abdullah al-Shimari, a 26-year-old Kuwaiti.

"The videos were very clear and even independent international reporters who have seen the bodies have confirmed it was them. People who have objected to showing the pictures are loyal to the Iraqi regime," said Mohammed al-Rashidi, a 27-year-old Kuwaiti who makes a whole lot of fucking sense.

But Egyptian analyst Diaa Rashwan said Washington had an uphill battle in winning credibility among Arabs.

"American credibility has been questioned for a long time in the Arab world, as well as other parts of the world. Parts like La La Land, and the Land of the Lost. This is making a lot of Arabs doubt the authenticity of what the photos or the video show," Rashwan said. "Cause they're fucking retarded." When asked just what exactly was making a lot of Arabs doubt the authenticity of the photos and video, Rashwan replied, "Well... Ah... I guess, showing authentic photos and videos is."

U.S. officials believe the deaths of Saddam's sons will help staunch attacks on U.S. troops which they blame on his sympathizers and which have already claimed 44 lives. Of course, U.S. officials also thought the Iraqi people would miraculously grow balls after their murderous leader was deposed, so what the fuck do they know?

But Iraqi analysts warn other groups with no loyalty to Saddam may be behind some of the attacks, including Islamic militants and nationalists who resent the takeover of their oil-rich country.

At Friday prayers in Falluja, west of Baghdad, angry Muslims said the bloodshed would go on until the Americans left - a clear illustration that Muslims have been unfairly depicted as violent extremists who include calls for bloodshed at Friday prayers. Whoops.

"I don't understand why the Americans say it is the former Baath Party people who are killing their soldiers. All Iraqis want to kill the Americans because of the way they act," said shopkeeper Muhammad Abbas. "Those crude, base, uncivilized savages! They're barbaric! Protecting our people, buying goods in our shops, attempting to bring some sort of order to our sovereign nation... I want to kill them all! Ah-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu!" He screamed, while jumping up and down and beating himself on his head.

Dear World: Go screw.

July 18, 2003
<unpc>Bitches be goin' crazy. An' shit.</unpc>

July 17, 2003
This morning, while the little girl was spooning in mouthfuls of Kix, (Kid-tested, Mother-approved. Dad just likes them because they take a long time to eat.) it occurred to me that a single Kix would fit right up her nostril. I have no idea what made this evident. There was cereal, there was her nose, there you have it. "Hm," I thought. "I'll have to watch out for that."

Not a minute later did she reach down with steady intent and pluck a single Kix from her bowl and place it directly up her nose.

I hadn't said a word before she took action, mind you. No, "Now, what ever you do, don't go stuffing breakfast cereal up your nose!" type admonitions. The only reason I can think of for this gorgeous coincidence is mayhaps she saw me eyeing first the cereal and then her nose. I have no idea, really.

So, the Kix is now snuggled firmly in the left nostril. Cradled, really. My first impulse is to get a needle, spear the thing, and then sorta lever it outta her honker, all simple-machine-like. This is closely followed by imaginings of a trip to the emergency room to dislodge both the Kix and a needle. Quickly, this gem is vetoed and swept under the mental carpet.

I decide on a course of a sort of inverted CPR - instead of closing off the nose and forcing air in through the mouth, cover the mouth and force (or, encourage, really) air out through the nose. Calmly and gently, so as not to alert her as to my quickening pulse and jackhammering anxiety, I cover her mouth with my palm and say, "Sweetie, do this." and blow air out through my nose with fair emphasis. She responds immediately, doing a mini-version, head nod and all.

No dice.

She grins up at me. Pleased with her effort.

Again, I impel (as delicately as I can muster) her to exhale strongly through her nose, which again, she does, with great aplomb.

Nada.

She grins up at me. Pleased with her effort.

Now I'm concerned. I figure the third time's gotta be a charm, and cheer her on to a championship-winning nose blow. I resist the urge to shout, "JESUS CHRIST, KID! FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY, BLOW THAT DELICIOUS SWEETENED CORN CEREAL OUT OF YOUR NOSE!" and she gives it her all.

The Kix comes a-tumblin' out.

She grins up at me. Pleased with her effort.

From here on in, I think proper breakfast attire is going to include those nose-clippy things that swimmers wear.