June 2003

June 26, 2003
Trying to reason with a 19 month old is like trying to sculpt with water.

June 20, 2003
Bruce wants to know if love is wild; he wants to know if love is real. And so do I.

June 14, 2003
Speaking of assholes...

If there's a manly way to lintroller the pethair off another man's pantsass, I haven't found it.

Here's two for the ladies. The Notorious D.U.G. and I prepare for a night out on the town:

(I attempted a nice Geiger counter/marital aid caption, but it just wasn't coming.)

June 13, 2003
The Segway. A $5000 improvement on walking.

Just ask President Bush.

You should have to be a fully-licensed, card carrying, first class, dues paying asshole to ride one of these things.

June 9, 2003
I tried to hold the door for someone at Dunkin Donuts this morning. Facing the DD's, she was approaching from the left, I was approaching from the right. The entry has two doors, both opening outward from the center. Because the ETA at our respective doorhandles was roughly the same, I did a little quickstep so I could get to my door and hold it open before she had to tug on hers. The lovely lass interpreted this as an attempt to beat her to the lemming line inside, so she hurried to her side of the entrance, pulled open the door, and gave me a big ol' hairy eye ball before stomping her way indoors.

I'm certain that the five guys who did take advantage of my door holding on the way in appreciated it, though. Well, I mean, I guess... since they were apparently born mute.

I love that.

Happy Monday.